Clark: On the Flight to Love

As Written

As Edited

“Guys we did it” Logan reiterated.

“Guys, we did it!” Logan exclaimed.

“Mean much” Clark added.

“Where’s the attitude coming from?” Clark asked, not expecting a response.

Reflections

The first As Written sentence just needed a copyedit’s addition of correct punctuation. The use of ‘reiterated’ was an infelicity, however. Since Logan hadn’t said anything like this previously, ‘exclaimed’ works much better here.

The second As Written example uses an expression that accuses someone of being mean; an expression that seems a better fit for a young female rather than an adult male professional.